For a new beginning

"AS LONG AS I WANT TO HELP MY SELF, BUT LIFE CHALLENGES MAKE ME WANT TO SURRENDER"

Hi, I am Rhona, only daughter of my parents Edna and Boie. At this young age, 25, I already have 2 kids. 8 and 3 years old.

I use to have a great life since I was little, not too rich but a family who can afford almost all that we want and need. Growing up, it is traumatizing seeing my mom and dad fighting, there's a lot of times that my dad hit me wherever his hand would lay. But as a kid, I will just think that I have done something wrong so that's the punishment and that's how my dad correct my wrong doings and that's love. When I am already 14 years old, that's the start of the story when I slowly notice that something's changing. Like from I can buy whatever I want to "I should prioritize what's important", from "₱200" allowance a day when I am going to school to "₱50" allowance. From studying from private school to public.

Reason? My dad has been addicted to gambling (sabong in tagalog, or cockpit/cockfight) little did we know that all the money from our family business has been weekly taken away by him and he losses it from the game. BUT THAT'S NOT THE WORST. He even loan half a million from the bank just to risk it all to that game. Of course he lose it all.

I used to have a good paying job (BPO) but because of health issues I am forced to decide to leave that job.

now, I am 25, both of my parents has no income, no work and soon they will be senior citizen already. Me as a bread winner, I can say that I am already tired and was ready to give up (can't even tell how many s*icidal attempts). I am also drowning from loans just to finance their needs and for my self and of course for my children. I don't know what to do anymore.

I might sound pathetic on this post, But i'll post it anyway hoping that someone more blessed than me was willing to lend a helping hand so that I can stand back again and fight for the future of my children