Help Me Start Over

Hi. I am in a sort of entanglement at the moment. I am hard up, financially although I have a permanent job here as a teacher in the Philippines. This is because of the loads of shortcomings that happened to my life which led to me, being broke, I had to come here to ask for your help. I NEED THIS AMOUNT to help me START OVER.
To be really honest, I am ashamed to be doing this and at the same time, I am worried about how my children would feel if they'd know it has come to this point.

Years back, when the my 3 children were still babies to toddlers, their father and I separated. It was hard for me to contact him and ask for their sustenance so I had to loan out of my salary or borrow from other people. Then came the time when my father was rushed to the hospital several times because of stroke. I forgot to mention I was living with my parents because I became a solo parent, so, my parents were my responsibility, too. Life was hard back then, but it is quite harder now.

In 2015, I got promoted. I was so glad for the salary increase, but then it was also the time when my father was rushed for the last time to the hospital because of stroke. He stayed there for 2 months and had to have hin discharged because there was no way I could pay for more hospitalization fees and that my father was showing no signs of recovery. He was just deteriorating. To cut it short, I had to loan money again using the salary increase. But the take away is, I had given my father a decent burial when he passed away.

Technically, my finances go like this, loan, reloan, loan, reloan until last 2021, we were kicked out of our residence, since we didn't own it. The big problem that time was where to get the money. All that was left in my salary is five thousand pesos monthly. (Although, I did manage to keep the funds rolling through reloans and some bonuses ) Going back to the time we were kicked out, I had no choice but to have my atm card pawned to have a large amount of money for me to have a home for me, my three kids and my mom.

Quite honeslty, the land where our house stands, isn't paid yet. We just asked our distant relative a huge favor if we could stay in their lot while the kids will be going to college (that time) and she agreed. What a relief! However, it became really hard for me because technically, I go to work paying for the loans and not receiving anything anymore.

It has been almost 3 years since I pawned that atm and still haven't gotten it back. You might ask, how did we live in that kind of situation. I borrowed and borrowed money from people I know until I think I have borrowed even to those I am not close with which is extremely embarrassing on my end. I also borrowed from shark apps.

I am in a big mess. I don't know how to climb up from here. It is so miserable where I am at now. There are days that, I don't know where to put the money borrowed first. I have 2 college students now. The eldest is 2nd year Education student and the 2nd is first year BS Math Student whilst my youngest is about to go to college next school year. Imagine? I am very very worried.

The good thing is, the two are in State universities, I only have to worry about their allowances and room rent but still very financially exhausting that I have borrowed and borrowed until there's no one to run to anymore.

I need a jump start... Please help me jumpstart my life and that my mom, my kids and I wouldn't have to worry about a lot of things anymore. I hope that I will receive help, too... :(

I will make a wallpaper for you, as a gesture of gratefulness to any amount that you can spare to help me and my family. Please. Help me, jumpstart. Help me reboot my life.

May the divine one who's in each one of us, bless us all.

PS: At this very moment of writing, I am sick and my cough's bad. But I have to just hang in here. My priority are my children and my mom. And I don't really want to borrow money anymore despite the fact that nobody might ever lend me again since I haven't paid em yet.

Thank you for reading this lenghty description. There are many other shortcomings I have not stated... coz it will be too lengthy.... I appreciate you reading this...