FAMILY MAN STRUGGLE

Hi, I just want to share my experience. LONG POST AHEAD SORRY!!! (I don't even know where I'm going to come, my tears won't stop falling) (I AM A FAMILY MAN BUT I AM VERY IRRESPONSIBLE) I'm not really a gambling person, I'm 31 yrs old now married with 2 kids Actually, I don't have a stable job I'm a freelance coder or technician (cellphone/laptop/computers). I'm the only one who supports my family. Since when my wife and I got married, We lived with her parents because we didn't have both enough financially. Time went by, of course, We dreamed also to have our own life as a family. and this is where everything started.... Finally, We found small apartment to rent...everything was ok at first, of course there were basic needs like spoons or plates that we didn't have, but we were happy little by little, We were able to buy necessary things and we where even offered a loan (Lending Company) for a washing machine. since it's quite a long term, so we decided to take it because my children are very fussy/naughty , we don't have time even to do laundry without them being fussy/naughty, fast forward sometimes I don't even earn a day like as in zero peso/$ so I'm broke leaving with no choice but to apply another loan to make ends meet since it is expected that the bills, house rent other , and other expensing coming together , besides even buying rice for our meal sometime we didn't have. Until that time when my eldest child has a moving up to kindergarten, she needs payment for the toga rent and picture tomorrow, so even if their teacher accepts online payment, I only have (7$) 350 pesos in my account but I need (8$) 450 pesos. I take a risk and try the online casino luckily the (7$) 350pesos became (14$) 700 pesos I stopped immediately now I can pay what my daughters need and with an extra. Unexpectedly the red days come again like I need to pay rent, I only have (100$) 5k pesos which I need is (140$) 7k the will due tomorrow, so I try to gamble again if money will be enough I will stop and work harder and a promise not to do this again , but the (110$) 5k pesos has been reduced to (80$) 4k, I talk to myself, it's not right, it's wrong, I decided that I will talk personally to landlord and beg . And I'm scared that maybe my wife will find out surely we're going to fight (I hide it if I play). But there's nothing to hide because my wife found out that I was gambling, we fought, then she left because I didn't do gamble, why am I doing that? all . My way of living got affected , I didn't take care of it because I consumed too much time gambling and if my client pays me , I immediately cashed in to take back the loss, but it got worse, there was nothing left . Since my life was on internet I discover this (OLA) online lending application which easy to be approved, I didn't gamble it anymore and its saved us to our daily expenses but I'm wrong! I found out that this OLA's is a loan sharks it increased the amount of interest which is really depressing so imagine that it has 300% interest and need to be returned in 7 days , where can I get it? Until I went to this tapal (seal) system (loan to other to pay upcoming due loans and that's where I sunk a lot. My 2 yrs old youngest was bitten by a dog. My eldest child fell on the bed and broke his hand Everything was happened just in a month. Now I reached 16 OLA apps and I don't know how I will pay for them. And worst I have yet to input references of my wife and my mother, who is a senior citizen who is not very techy but likes to do cellphone even doctor advise that she has only a year of her life left and with the loan I made surely she will be bothered by collectors . Most OLA here in our country is illegal very unprofessional to talk and will shame you as far as they can (Sending Casket and flowers are samples) . I don't know anymore because it happened so fast, I'm so sorry, I took the wrong path, I don't have anyone close to me, I hope someone can help me, save me so that I can only focused to start again. It hurts so much to think that I will be able to sympathize with other people because of what I did. Please stop if you are in my situation too. is too difficult and painful. PLEASE STOP !!!! You're not the only one to be destroy but all the people you love ones. I desperate to have a fund raise to save me and my family to pay our debts i sincerely regret and I just want to have a simple and happy life with my family .. Any donation is a very big help for us and I thank you in advance for outside donation please contact me in WhatsApp : +639157488979 Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/ressiak.serolf Telegram: @Reziakcom Thanks a lot